BEST KCPE COMPOSITION

I was asleep. The jogoo shouted three times, I opened one eye and left the other to sleep abit. I was wishing I had slept with my uniforms putted on, but I realised if wishes were chickens beggars would been layin eggs. I woke up with only one eye open n and I was looking where the karai was put I wash my face. I found some cotton which I used to burn the jiko and cook a chai without milk called sturungi. I drank the sturungi haphazardy and hurriendily with a big piece of kiugali which had remained at night. I put on my uniforms and then I painted myself with fat and because there was no kiwi I had to paint my shoes with fat to.

I took a paperbag put books and biros then ran my everything, I beated the first corner hardly then as I was beatin the second corner I heard the school bell cry ncgririr nkngrirriririri nckgrrrirrrrr!!! I knew nimelate. When I reached the gate!! You dont want to know!! Mr Mogaka was standin at the gate with a big black nyahunyo. I was so afraid that I almost urinated. I was asked why are you late? I said makaa was poured with water at night teacher asked what has that to do with you coming to school late I told him the jiko was late to burn so it delayed cookin strong tea he said that is no excuse!!

Touch your toes!! I started to remove my shoes so I can touch the toes but he told me I just meant bend, he gave me the first nyahunyo on my buttocks,,hehe it was as hot as a boiling water, I dried that one, he gave me the second one pap!! This one was much hotter n started hearing to cry, when the third one was given to me I heard so much pain that I touched my buttocks, the teacher said you have erased that one!! I will have to give you another one!! When I was given the fourth nyahunyo, tears started getting out of my eyes uncontoullably,, the teacher said,

You removing tears for who!! I dont want to see even a smell of tear, ran to class and dont late tomorrow. My buttocks as I went to class were hearing as if sitting in a burning jiko.. I dried the tears because my classmate would laugh at me for crying.

When I entered class I walked slowly to my desk and when I tried to sit it was so pain I could not seet. So I seeted on air above my chair holding my desk. From that day I sweya I will never come to school late again even if the makaa was poured on water!!!.

 

Examiners comments:

This school should be turned into a tourist attraction. This is a classic case of a comedian in the making. I will refer this student to the African Centre for Talented Individuals next to K1. No marks can be awarded as this will negate the whole idea of nurturing county talent.

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102 comments on “BEST KCPE COMPOSITION

  1. When I read this I was hearing like laughing, but I heard upole foe the boy for receiving nyahunyos on his buttocks because of lated strungi

  2. The child is imaginative although I am not sure what he was asked to write.The candidate was reflective given the short period he/she had.There were cases of wrong tenses used like putted instead of ‘put’ and use of shortening words like ‘and’ for n.Conclusion was good. It would have been good if he had time to edit it his/her piece.

  3. this shows that all subjects in the curriculum are equally important to the development of a person in order for person to comfortably live in the universe. Communication is vital requirement in human being, so it should be properly checked into. Students & the public at large should avoid corruption of languages, sheng is a language disaster, it can be avoided.

  4. The use of sheng “mixture of swahili and english” is endangering our students communication especially when it comes to writing. Parents too dont entertain sheng while at home. Otherwise this student is comic.

  5. 1. The student should be refunded id that is what madam / sir taught.
    2. The mwalimu did nothing and should be suspended.
    3. kama hii ndio shida English is bringing to students itolewe

  6. Its so funny, the students should be taught how to make complete statements, use the right tenses and clear phrases for good compositions.

  7. hahaha..at first i thought i cudnt go on the grammar was incognito..but it gets hilarious as it goes…hahaha..madness in the making if this is the best compostion in kcpe..lmfao

  8. VERY INTERESTING.REMINDING OF MY PRIMARY DAYS WEN I WENT 2O MINUTES LATE INTO NIGHT PREBS REASON BN I ATE MY SUPER KUPITA KIASI TAT WAS GITHERI NIMERUDIA SURPLUS 3TIMES 4 MY FRNDS WU WERE NT THERE.TA TEACHER ON DUTY WAS ABDIHAYLOOW WEARING KIKOI ND WID HIS HANKOL ON TA OTHER HAND.Y R U LATE HE ASK?MAALIM AFTA SUPER NIMESHINDA KUAMKA TUMBO IMEFURA.WAT DO U MEAN WEWE UNAKULA KAMA FISI HALAFU UNACHELEWA PREBS?BUT MAALIM,,NO LALA CHINI.IT WAS ABIT DIFFICULT 4 ME TO LALA COZ MY STOMACH IS INFRONT BUT BILA KUJALI HE HIT ME ONE ON MY BACK ND TA MOMENT MY STOMACK WAS DOWN,ALL TA GITHERI I ATE WAS POURED DOWN YAANI NIMETABIKA ND TAT SAVED ME.WAT DO U SAY?

  9. wawawawawawawa. this danda has andikad da g-est story in da wald. av chekad wen somain it bu it is sad how stupid sam pple can b.

  10. Ahahahahahaha this is to funny… whoever wrote this should be rewarded heavy lol…. I die…

    I was wishing I had slept with my uniforms putted on, but I realised if wishes were chickens beggars would been layin eggs. I woke up with only one eye open n and I was looking where the karai was put I wash my face. I found some cotton which I used to burn the jiko and cook a chai without milk called sturungi. hahahahahaha

  11. This guy can compose a book, he/she need a writer to put things into perspective,otherwise he/she is able to paint a moving story on the readers mind……his eight years english teacher should be fired!

  12. A+ quality!!!

    Examiners comment was the best!!! hahahhahaah:

    This school should be turned into a tourist attraction. This is a classic case of a comedian in the making. I will refer this student to the African Centre for Talented Individuals next to K1. No marks can be awarded as this will negate the whole idea of nurturing county talent.

  13. Learning is a process. It never ends unless you are dead. That candidate really tried.with serious coaching he could have done better. He deserved some marks nevertheless!

  14. This a typical kisii pupil corrupted by sheng.
    It shows how deep we’ve failed to nurture linguistic ability for our children.
    The pupil sounds creative but lacks the language facilitation to shine.
    A clear sign of Teachers who hv failed to disjudge their duties.

  15. Sounds like a typical Gikuyu-English to me.. I know I used to write something close to this in primo, minus the Sheng. Thanks for a great laugh. More please…

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