I was asleep. The jogoo shouted three times, I opened one eye and left the other to sleep abit. I was wishing I had slept with my uniforms putted on, but I realised if wishes were chickens beggars would been layin eggs. I woke up with only one eye open n and I was looking where the karai was put I wash my face. I found some cotton which I used to burn the jiko and cook a chai without milk called sturungi. I drank the sturungi haphazardy and hurriendily with a big piece of kiugali which had remained at night. I put on my uniforms and then I painted myself with fat and because there was no kiwi I had to paint my shoes with fat to.
I took a paperbag put books and biros then ran my everything, I beated the first corner hardly then as I was beatin the second corner I heard the school bell cry ncgririr nkngrirriririri nckgrrrirrrrr!!! I knew nimelate. When I reached the gate!! You dont want to know!! Mr Mogaka was standin at the gate with a big black nyahunyo. I was so afraid that I almost urinated. I was asked why are you late? I said makaa was poured with water at night teacher asked what has that to do with you coming to school late I told him the jiko was late to burn so it delayed cookin strong tea he said that is no excuse!!
Touch your toes!! I started to remove my shoes so I can touch the toes but he told me I just meant bend, he gave me the first nyahunyo on my buttocks,,hehe it was as hot as a boiling water, I dried that one, he gave me the second one pap!! This one was much hotter n started hearing to cry, when the third one was given to me I heard so much pain that I touched my buttocks, the teacher said you have erased that one!! I will have to give you another one!! When I was given the fourth nyahunyo, tears started getting out of my eyes uncontoullably,, the teacher said,
You removing tears for who!! I dont want to see even a smell of tear, ran to class and dont late tomorrow. My buttocks as I went to class were hearing as if sitting in a burning jiko.. I dried the tears because my classmate would laugh at me for crying.
When I entered class I walked slowly to my desk and when I tried to sit it was so pain I could not seet. So I seeted on air above my chair holding my desk. From that day I sweya I will never come to school late again even if the makaa was poured on water!!!.
Examiners comments:
This school should be turned into a tourist attraction. This is a classic case of a comedian in the making. I will refer this student to the African Centre for Talented Individuals next to K1. No marks can be awarded as this will negate the whole idea of nurturing county talent.
Comedian
Nyakemincha
Kali,hiyo ni distinction
Kali,hiyo ni distinction
Wow this made my day
this is just wrong. but ive been laughing all day!
best
Its a direct translatn comp/insha>that one must b frm kisii skul.ows tas med ma day
hiii ni kali
Ebu soma.
When I read this I was hearing like laughing, but I heard upole foe the boy for receiving nyahunyos on his buttocks because of lated strungi
Hahahaha.am dead
Huyu alituacha
#lol# haha aki waa nyakemincha kisii u cracked my ribs swagg
Wao this is hillareous.
Hahaha pure ingenious
Wao this is hillareous.
The things we do for love
Nyc creativity
Hope you will laugh this one off as it did me.where has our edu system gone to?enjoy
I lyk em
Hope you will laugh this one off as it did me.where has our edu system gone to?enjoy
4 sure this kid is a comedian. Lol
Atleast the story has some flow. Expressing it is the problem. The candidate should av got atleast 8 out of 40.
goodness…….cant stop laughing
!!!hehe
Reblogged this on ascofuatwork and commented:
I love this composition. Reminds me of the days when we were in Primary school.
This is awesome. The guy who created this should be absorbed by Churchill industry.
The child is imaginative although I am not sure what he was asked to write.The candidate was reflective given the short period he/she had.There were cases of wrong tenses used like putted instead of ‘put’ and use of shortening words like ‘and’ for n.Conclusion was good. It would have been good if he had time to edit it his/her piece.
Woa! It reminds me in those days, not a punishment but a torture….!
Ha ha ha! It has officially made my day.
I like this
this is the best
This student must be from NYAKEMINCHA Primary school in Kisii.
hilarious… I actually had given up on young kenyan talent bt now …there’s hope
4m dan
Reblogged this on theeddie24ful and commented:
wololo
This is more than serious.these students need our support.its more of sorrow than laughter.
heheh
wow
i wnt 2 b part of this fun
ai giv sam mrks 4 tru stori
lolestic.!!!!!
real funny!
sickest
Hahaha,
Nice one
this shows that all subjects in the curriculum are equally important to the development of a person in order for person to comfortably live in the universe. Communication is vital requirement in human being, so it should be properly checked into. Students & the public at large should avoid corruption of languages, sheng is a language disaster, it can be avoided.
I think tis about time our national language was changed to English!
i was standing like there…(kyuk ngurugamite ta haria)
The student should get full marks for creativity, recall and use of environmental vocabulary
¤DEAD*
hii ni kali!!!!
Lol..it reminds me of primary
Haha
The use of sheng “mixture of swahili and english” is endangering our students communication especially when it comes to writing. Parents too dont entertain sheng while at home. Otherwise this student is comic.
This show how mothertoungue hinders language development
Hahahaa,the upcoming generation,
hahaha
No coment
Merimera
1. The student should be refunded id that is what madam / sir taught.
2. The mwalimu did nothing and should be suspended.
3. kama hii ndio shida English is bringing to students itolewe
Wonderful. Not just a commedian but a Chinua Achebe in the making
Its so funny, the students should be taught how to make complete statements, use the right tenses and clear phrases for good compositions.
hahaha its a combination of insha kisii composition n sheng.
Total madness
hahaha..at first i thought i cudnt go on the grammar was incognito..but it gets hilarious as it goes…hahaha..madness in the making if this is the best compostion in kcpe..lmfao
This are the effects of free education now pupils are writing compositions free style .hehahaha:-).
Lolest too funny.the era of my school days; ) good one…
This composition are the best to teachers who teach class8.for better revisions and corrections.
Way to funny xD
This is cwazy n funny.haha
This composition is realy crazy, i like it.
I loved it
Creativity.
I thought canning was condemned in schools.
Ahahah, the sound of that bell 😀
#Floor#
VERY INTERESTING.REMINDING OF MY PRIMARY DAYS WEN I WENT 2O MINUTES LATE INTO NIGHT PREBS REASON BN I ATE MY SUPER KUPITA KIASI TAT WAS GITHERI NIMERUDIA SURPLUS 3TIMES 4 MY FRNDS WU WERE NT THERE.TA TEACHER ON DUTY WAS ABDIHAYLOOW WEARING KIKOI ND WID HIS HANKOL ON TA OTHER HAND.Y R U LATE HE ASK?MAALIM AFTA SUPER NIMESHINDA KUAMKA TUMBO IMEFURA.WAT DO U MEAN WEWE UNAKULA KAMA FISI HALAFU UNACHELEWA PREBS?BUT MAALIM,,NO LALA CHINI.IT WAS ABIT DIFFICULT 4 ME TO LALA COZ MY STOMACH IS INFRONT BUT BILA KUJALI HE HIT ME ONE ON MY BACK ND TA MOMENT MY STOMACK WAS DOWN,ALL TA GITHERI I ATE WAS POURED DOWN YAANI NIMETABIKA ND TAT SAVED ME.WAT DO U SAY?
hahahahaha!!!! wharra cracker wharra way to ma week. .
Hehehehe, what a good start of the week, heheheeeee…..
wawawawawawawa. this danda has andikad da g-est story in da wald. av chekad wen somain it bu it is sad how stupid sam pple can b.
Kenyans are naturally STUPID! their brain is as thick as their hair!!!!!!!!!
too crazy!
Ahahahahahaha this is to funny… whoever wrote this should be rewarded heavy lol…. I die…
I was wishing I had slept with my uniforms putted on, but I realised if wishes were chickens beggars would been layin eggs. I woke up with only one eye open n and I was looking where the karai was put I wash my face. I found some cotton which I used to burn the jiko and cook a chai without milk called sturungi. hahahahahaha
Actually even if Christ come He won’t recomend this surely be tough on such candidates
That’s more than talent.
This guy can compose a book, he/she need a writer to put things into perspective,otherwise he/she is able to paint a moving story on the readers mind……his eight years english teacher should be fired!
A+ quality!!!
Examiners comment was the best!!! hahahhahaah:
This school should be turned into a tourist attraction. This is a classic case of a comedian in the making. I will refer this student to the African Centre for Talented Individuals next to K1. No marks can be awarded as this will negate the whole idea of nurturing county talent.
This is actually a police case plus serious prayers. God bless him/her.
Uuuuuh! I like the creativity
Good,it contains humour.
you could added some more exciting wana but nimechizika
I am happy that today we are better at sendin the point home…LAKINI…I personally know this experience….great true story
Learning is a process. It never ends unless you are dead. That candidate really tried.with serious coaching he could have done better. He deserved some marks nevertheless!
This is Hillarious
This a typical kisii pupil corrupted by sheng.
It shows how deep we’ve failed to nurture linguistic ability for our children.
The pupil sounds creative but lacks the language facilitation to shine.
A clear sign of Teachers who hv failed to disjudge their duties.
Sounds like a typical Gikuyu-English to me.. I know I used to write something close to this in primo, minus the Sheng. Thanks for a great laugh. More please…
i lyked dat,da examiners comment was woo!
grt.
Al bet d teacher 2 ds pupil z pathetic
Yeah! Mimi ame agree na yule boy.
wow
Kutafsiri Kifaransa ni ngumu!
I’ve never encountered such craze before, you killed me.
whoever this student is….just killed me DEAD!!! Can’t stop laughing. Hands down genius comedian!